I'd like to preface this by saying that I am a guy, and this is more of a plea and a thank you.

I remember the day very clearly, I was sitting with about 10 of my friends from college (both male and female) and the topic of exhibitionists came up. The collective look of confusion and disbelief on all of my male friends and my faces was probably a sight to behold. We were all 21 years old, well educated and well informed students (or so we thought), yet absolutely none of us had any idea what an exhibitionist was!!

That evening then took us through a journey of deep conversation and shock as we learnt about the levels of harassment our girl friends were subject to on a regular basis and from such a young age. I heard horror stories about a man that masturbated as he walked behind a friend when she was only 14. Others that had experienced men just wiping out their genitalia and how being brushed up against for no real reason was a simple everyday occurrence for most of them.

This really really saddened me. The fact that my friends, my sisters and even my mother had all been living in this secret hell. We all lived in the same place but their experience of the world was so different from mine, always having to be aware, always being forced to ignore something they shouldn't have too and just never truly feeling safe. I know that it was from then on that I started seeing things differently, I was much more aware of my surroundings when with my girl friends and female relatives. I finally in a small way began understanding what they were going through and was ready to act upon it if need be.

We are here to support you. The honest truth is that for most guys, we just don't know the levels of daily harassment that actually goes on. Yes the odd major incident gains major media attention and that is about it. So speak to us and educate us, don't feel like you need to hide all this because it is as much our problem to address as it is yours.

Its also why I am so glad to have come across this website, if its hard for you to talk about with your brother, your son or your friend. Just direct him here. A quick read here and things get infinitely clearer. Reading through these incidents makes me sad, but it also makes me want to react. Things become much more real when you realise it isn't just something in the news, and that it is something someone you care about is dealing with on a daily basis as well.