The feeling is "Vulnerable".

Sumbul
At my masi's wedding(home)

It was my masi's wedding and since she was my only maternal aunt, I was too attached with her and I was so excited There I met my mom's cousin for the first time since we used to live in a different city and that was the only wedding I remember. So my mom introduced us. As my real maternal uncles were super awesome, I interacted with him in a friendly manner. Since I was in class 5th and it was the time of my half yearly examination, there was too much travelling that I had to do. First I gave my exams and then attended the wedding function. So, I was not really well, I had a high fever and I was taking a little rest as the haldi ceremony was in the evening. This cousin uncle entered with my mom. Maa told me that he isnt well either so he will take a some rest and go. I felt very awkward but I said okay. So, I was at the extreme corner of the bed and after sometime I fell into a deep sleep.

 

 

I don't remember the time but after a few minutes I could feel somebody's hand on my panties and I shouted at him. He put his hands on my mouth to shut me up and forced himself into me. Yes, I lost it with him forcefully. I was too young at that time and it was extremely painful. I was bleeding a bit too, that scared me a lot and applying whatever the strength I was left with I pushed him away. I went straight to the washroom. I felt like scratching the whole of my body till I bled.

 

Later, I told my mom whatever happened with me. She asked me to keep quiet and not to tell anyone. Being totally against crime since childhood I couldn't digest what my mom told me. So, I told my real maternal uncle. Couldn't tell him everything as I didn't know at that time that I was being 'Raped' actually. I told him that he touched my body and he thrashed him out. I didn't tell my dad cause he works out of india and wasn't here at that time. But after that incident my mom stopped talking to me. She said I created a scene at her sister's wedding. It took me 3 months to convince my mom that I was in a deep pain.


My dad is still not aware of it cause I didn't want to spoil his relationship with my mom as I have a younger brother who was a kid at that time. All my efforts to come out of it was in vain, watching him coming to my home again and again and my mom entertained him as a guest in spite of knowing that whole incident. It made me feel vulnerable. Till 12th I was so scared of the opposite gender, I used to feel suffocated in the place where I was born. I decided to go out and study after 12th. Yes, it helped a lot. Slowly and steadily I stayed myself. I faced the world with confidence and now I am doing absolutely fine cause staying strong was the only option I was left with and I made the best out of it.

 

I am 24 now and have a pretty steady career in the fashion industry, I am happy with my life and choices that I made for myself. But it's just that, I feel bad when I remember the fact that I was left alone when I needed my mom the most. I do love her cause she has given me this life but I won't be able to forgive her.
 

Why didn't I report?

I was too young.

I was wearing What would a 12 year old wear? A frock when the incident happened



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Sexual assault in college

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My uncle abused me when I was 13